"In olden days -- not so
very olden either -- this practice was painted as the blackest of all possible sins.
Anyone who practiced it was pretty sure of hell. Our grandfathers, including our medical
grandfathers, if they did not avoid all reference to it, taught that it was not only a
dreadful sin, but that also it had physical and mental consequence which were terrible;
these consequences being regarded as the just punishment of God for human wickedness. It
was said that the victim of this habit invariably brought disease upon himself and that if
he did not speedily check it he would go mad.... The only hope of cure held out was said
to lie in the exercise of the victim's will assisted by religious exercises of prayer and
Bible reading." -- Leslie Weatherhead, The Mastery of Sex Through
Psychology and Religion, 1931.
The Rev. Leslie Weatherhead, a
British Methodist in a Congregationalist pulpit, was one of the pioneers in attempting to
integrate psychology and religion. In his day, he was considered a "liberal" or
"enlightened" voice on matters relating sexuality to spirituality, as his above
words on "Masturbation or Self-Abuse" might indicate. The Methodist Recorder
predicted, "without fear of exaggeration it can be said that tens of
thousands of young people will be deeply grateful" for Weatherhead's book.
In that essay, Weatherhead also
stated: "Fortunately, most of what was held to be true in regard to masturbation,
physically, psychologically, and theologically, we now know to be vulgar nonsense."
He noted that a "psychologist says that 99 per cent of those who have given him their
confidence practice it, and he suspects the hundredth of concealing the truth."
We should by now, however, know
better than to think that Weatherhead was particularly enlightened. He went on to claim
that "some [men and women] achieve complete mastery [over masturbation] ... Quite
recently I have had the joy of curing -- apparently completely -- a boy who masturbated
several times daily for eight years and a girl in whom the practice had been a daily one
for nearly fifteen years."
By what means did Weatherhead have
such "joy of curing" masturbators? His recommendations ranged from the
psychological (urging patients to recognize masturbation as "the misuse on selfish
levels of an instinctive energy"), to the religious ("Simply soak the mind with
thoughts of Christ") to the physical (recommending circumcision of all uncircumcised
masturbators, avoidance of "heavy meals late at night," and sleeping with
coverings that were "as light as possible" in a bed that was "not too
soft").
It should not be surprising how many
parallels exist between this approach to masturbation and the various, supposedly
enlightened approaches to homosexuality popular today among evangelicals, fundamentalists,
and charismatics. [Footnote: In his own chapter on homosexuality, Weatherhead simply
referred his readers to his chapter on masturbation, though he did say that the sodomy
laws were "both cruel and useless."] As was the case with Weatherhead's
"ex-masturbator" process, many (though not all) leaders of what is commonly
known as the "ex-gay movement" are attempting to move away from the really
outlandish misinformation of previous generations. In both movements, we see a move from
ignoring a taboo topic to a revolutionary recognition if it as a widespread phenomenon --
even within the churches -- requiring a change in perception. We see a seemingly greater
compassion. But we see, too, simplistic solutions in the misuse of prayer and Bible
reading. And we see the naive reporting of "cure" on the basis of instant
evaluation of alleged change, rather than on long-term follow-up studies. We see testimony
of "ex-masturbators" and "ex-gays" as narrowly reported by their
world-be deliverers. We see recommendations that the behavior be redefined, that thanks be
given for a "freedom" not yet actually attained. We see recommendations for
avoidance and silly suggestions for distraction, repression and denial.
Make no mistake about it -- changes
undoubtedly do occur in the "ex-gay" movement. But in my extensive study of
"ex-gay" phenomena over more than a decade convinces me that the changes are
turnover in testimonies, personnel, promises, definitions, expectations and claims, not
changes in sexual orientation and behavior. As even "ex-gay" movement promoter
Sharon Kuhn has admitted in Campus Crusade's Worldwide Challenge magazine,
"most ["ex-gay"] ministries to Christian homosexuals soon die out."
The degree of
"enlightenment" among modern-day evangelicals, fundamentalists, and charismatics
varies widely. This is especially the case with many heterosexuals who desperately want to
believe in the "ex-gay" movement. Some persons continue to propose
"cures" that are downright stupid. Out of Dallas a "Chaplain Ray" has
issued advice on "How Homosexuals Can Change." He says that homosexuals should
"Keep active. Work. Exercise. Involve yourself in as much wholesome group activities
as possible." This Rambo-like prison chaplain also believes that homosexuals would
have been "healthier emotionally and psychologically if they had been involved in the
rough and tumble games and fights of the children on the playgrounds."
Some evangelicals continue to claim
that complete change to heterosexuality is possible for the gay man or lesbian. For
example, Kenneth Gangel, of Dallas Theological Seminary, claims that the "propensity
can be changed by the power of Jesus Christ." He says that those Christian leaders
who do not propose complete change "stop short of the real power of the gospel."
(He cites as his evidence the testimony of a man who has now left the "ex-gay"
movement and who, in the testimony cited by Gankel, readily admitted that he continued to
masturbate thinking of "fond wishes" for homosexual activity.)
And Leanne Payne, a heterosexual
charismatic who runs Pastoral Care Ministries, calls all same-sex sexuality "a sexual
neurosis" (contrary to the diagnostic classification of the American Psychiatric
Association). She defines homosexuality as "a condition for God to heal" and
says that, as such, "it is (in spite of the widespread belief to the contrary)
remarkably simple."
Among other evangelicals, such views
are waning. Five years ago, Christianity Today bannered across its cover:
"Homosexuals CAN Change." Two years later, that magazine's editor, Kenneth
Kantzer, admitted that "The evidence is clear that such a turn [from homosexuality to
heterosexuality] is often not very successful," though he demanded that all lesbians
and gay men "try to turn from your homosexual orientation" or at least
"exercise self-control...refrain from homosexual practice...and live lives of sexual
continence."
Eastern College sociologist Tony
Campolo admits that "ex-gay" claims "always fall through" on close
examination. He even acknowledges the probability of a "biological basis for
homosexuality" and thus says that we "cannot expect such a person to change his
orientation." But Campolo, too, advocates celibacy for men and women whose
orientation is homosexual.
Increasingly, some evangelicals are
moving all the way to the position espoused by Evangelicals Concerned, supporting a
realistic integration of same-sex relationship and biblical faith. As early as 1978,
Richard Quebedeaux observed in *The Worldly Evangelicals,* "Right and center
evangelicals may continue to say 'no' to homosexual practice explicitly and homosexual
orientation implicitly; but it seems likely that left evangelicals will finally come out
closer to Ralph Blair than to Anita Bryant."
Nonetheless, perceived
"causes" and "cures" of homosexuality are still quite confused and
confusing among most evangelicals, fundamentalists, and charismatics. It does not, of
course, take much beyond chutzpah to posture righteousness indignation and promise
"freedom from homosexuality," especially if the one who makes the promise is a
heterosexual who says it is really up to God to heal. It requires quite something else to
offer an effective way out of homosexual orientation. And no matter what they claim, it is
obvious that nobody is delivering on deliverance.
The claims of "ex-gays"
themselves also vary considerably. Many frankly admit that, contrary to Payne's claims,
"healing" of homosexuality is not "remarkably simple." They know from
their own experience what daily and even hourly struggles they are up against. In a recent
interview in the *St. Paul Pioneer Press,* "ex-gay" leader Jeff Ford of Outpost
says that he still wrestles with his own homosexual urges, admitting he is not
"cured," and that he doubts that "anyone has shed their homosexual
orientation" through the "ex-gay" process.
Similarly, Frank Worthen, the
director of "Love In Action," warns in a recent issue of his newsletter,
"When the sun [comes out] and the clothes [come] off, ['ex-gays' have] a full blown
problem." He admits that even "during the winter months," the
"ex-gays" have only "a measure of victory." He confesses, "One of
the most difficult battles ex-gay men and women face is working through attractions we
often have to members of the same sex." He notes that "ex-gays" are often
sexually attracted to persons they see while out shopping or at church but says that it is
especially hard when "ex-gays" are sexually attracted to "someone we work
with or are required to interact with on a regular basis." Worthen, who is now
married to a woman, suggests that other "ex-gays" should, "if possible, cut
down the number of times you are seeing the person. Using the telephone rather than
visiting the person helps." He advises that "ex-gays" seek out "the
physically unattractive."
Finally, Worthen says that
"ex-gays" "should not just beat yourself...every time you feel attracted to
another."
Another "ex-gay" has this
to confide to the readers of The Presbyterian Survey: "I have a hope that I
will someday have a heterosexual orientation, or meet a woman who will help me find one.
But my hardened, cynical side insists that the future for me will consist of celibacy, and
a decreased sexual tension. Nevertheless, the tension will remain with me until death.
That's what I think the future will be like."
Some "ex-gays," however,
actually deny their experience. Daniel Roberts of Homosexuals Anonymous (also known as
Quest) says that homosexuals are all mistaken even in thinking of themselves as
"homosexuals." According to his pseudo-Freudian interpretation, homosexuality is
really "an ambivalence toward the same sex rather than love for the same sex."
He says that such ambivalence leads to genital behavior when it is "misinterpreted as
erotic."
Other "ex-gays" redefine
terms to suit themselves. Joanne Highley of L.I.F.E. Ministry says that Christians must
"see homosexual orientation for what it is -- a lie. We are," she insists,
"truly heterosexual" in the first place. With such flip-flop argumentation she
finds it easy to promise "a transformation of one's orientation" (though we
might ask what the need is for such a "transformation" if the homosexual
orientation is really just "a lie" all along). At any rate, she says that such
"transformation of one's orientation" is done through a "change of identity
-- recognition of being a new creation."
No matter what they over-claim in
promoting their movement, careful examination of most of the claims of the
"ex-gays" -- at least in their fine-print disclaimers -- shows far more modest
promises. Some of their stories of so-called deliverances don't even focus on sexual
orientation or behavior, offering instead illogical "proofs" of change. For
example, in an article entitled Showing Homosexuals A Way Out
and published in the conservative United Methodist magazine, Good News, reporter
James Robb relates the testimony of a man who "...was once a practicing homosexual.
Now he's set up in ministry." How that man's change of career automatically proved
any change in sexual orientation of behavior is never demonstrated.
In another issue, Good News
has printed the testimony of "A Former Homosexual," now a "musical
evangelist." But a close reading of the testimony indicates that, however more
musical he might have become, this "former" homosexual's homosexuality is
continuing in the form of repeated homosexual temptations.
Another evangelical magazine, Message,
has published the "ex-gay" testimony of Tim Youngblood. He claims, "After
accepting Christ I began changing." But what began changing? "The way I
moved my hands and arms changed. Even my walk changed. My voice lowered. My laugh
changed." He doesn't say that his desire for men changed. He doesn't say that he now
desires women instead of men, sexually. Youngboood advises other "ex-gay" men to
"find a Spirit-filled man of God who is secure in his own self image... You need
someone to go to when things get difficult." How is this not a description of
homosexual attraction? He warns the "ex-gay": "Allow yourself the freedom
to fail. ...You're going to stumble."
Christian Life magazine has
published an article, entitled I Was Delivered from Lesbianism,
about Darlene Bogle. Now a "leader of singles" at an Assembly of God center,
Bogle says that she was "demonically indwelt" by lesbianism but that when she
"took authority over the spirits of homosexuality in the name of Jesus and served
them their 'vacate-the-premises-immediately' papers they had to leave." Evidently,
however, her lesbianism did not leave with the demons. She asks in the article: "Did
all the struggles leave overnight? No."
While at first "ex-gays"
may make outlandishly false claims about their own "change" experiences, they
almost always soon become more honest and modest in their claims. All of the early
movements leaders who claimed to be personally "ex-gay" have now dropped out:
Guy Charles of LIBERATION in Jesus Christ, Roger Grindstaff (also known as Roger Dean) of
Disciples Only and a consultant to Teen Challenge, John Evans of Love in Action, Jim
Kasper and Mike Bussee of EXIT at Melodyland, Greg Reid of EAGLE, Rick Notch of Open Door,
and many others. Alan Mediger, executive director of EXODUS, the "ex-gay"
umbrella organization, acknowledges "that his group has had
problems with ministry leaders who return to a gay lifestyle...and that when an ex-gay is
trying to help a struggling homosexual, the temptation to fall is great."
This "exodus" of
"ex-gay" leaders does not, however, prevent some Christian publishers from
continuing to distribute, and even advertise, these persons' previous testimonies of
deliverance. Today, many of those who lead the "ex-gay" movement have never been
homosexual (e.g., Leanne Payne, Robbi Kenney of Outpost, and Ron Highley of L.I.F.E.).
And, apparently, those
"ex-gay" persons who do continue to help lead the movement often still struggle
with the conflict between their desire to purge themselves of homosexuality and their
deep-felt need for same sex relationships of some sort. Andy Comiskey, founder of the
"ex-gay" Desert Stream at John Wimber's Vineyard asks in its newsletter,
"How do we ["ex-gays"] sort out sinful desires from legitimate needs for
same-sex friendship?" He continues, "Perhaps we're fearful of falling hopelessly
in love with another of the same sex. We detach ourselves. On the other hand, we can rush
unwisely into friendship and find ourselves enmeshed in an emotional and sexual death
grip."
Comiskey's concerns have been a
constant battle in the "ex-gay" movement, where the biggest worry at every
"ex-gay" convention is that the "ex-gays" will "fall" during
the convention. As ex-"ex-gay" leader Rick Notch has put it, "You pick a
prayer partner the first night of the convention, you pray with him the second night, and
by the third night your prayers are answered." Don Baker, in his recent book, Beyond
Rejection: The Church, Homosexuality, and Hope, acknowledges that even after a
prescribed Bible-memorization program, "deliverance from homosexuality is a slow,
agonizing process with the ever present fear of falling at any time" into protracted
homosexual behavior.
In short, leaders of the
"ex-gay" movement seem to be scrambling to find any substantial proof of success
in their efforts. For many, this has meant carefully defining (or redefining) very limited
goals.
A couple of years before
"ex-gay" leader Greg Reid dropped out of sight, abandoning his EAGLE
(Ex-Active-Gay-Liberated-Eternally) ministry, he admitted, "There have been many
[ex-gay] failures... Ex-gay testimonies are touted before they are ready, many, in fact,
don't even have a genuine call. ...Evangelicals and gay Christians alike are looking for a
'perfect record' -- and heterosexuality to boot. Ex-gays play right into that destructive
game. The scriptural standard is NOT 'are they reoriented' or 'have they fallen.'"
Robbi Kenney has issued the
following directive to other remaining leaders in the movement: "Know what you are
offering. ... You are NOT offering heterosexuality... [but] the power to come into
celibacy." She even advised, "avoid calling them ex-gays." Nonetheless,
with the same mailing, she sent out a brochure attacking the American Psychiatric
Association's position on homosexuality and declaring across the cover of the brochure:
"There IS an ex-gay reality!" For herself, the never-lesbian Kenney has long
lamented her loneliness and her hopelessness about finding a husband in the
"ex-gay"
movement. She proves that "ex-gays" are not really new heterosexuals -- even
when they marry heterosexually -- when she explains: "Being in ex-gay ministry often
has meant that I've only met and fallen in love with men from gay backgrounds.... I
finally asked God to bring a man into my life who could appreciate me as a woman."
This past year, leaders of various
"ex-gay" groups, including Love in Action, Homosexuals Anonymous, L.I.F.E.
Ministries, and Mount Hope, conducted a winter conference in New York City. They
repeatedly stressed that the "ex-gay" promise was not one of change
from homosexual orientation to heterosexual orientation but rather one of either demanded
celibacy or heterosexual marriage (which was recommended to be arranged by a third party
and in which genital acts might or might not eventually be added to friendship with
someone of the other sex).
In summer 1985, EXODUS held its
ninth convention. Of 54 conference participants polled, 23 preferred not to use a noun to
describe someone "freed from homosexuality." Instead they said that such a
person was "struggling with homosexuality" -- a "fallen angel."
Phrases such as "set free" and "delivered" were said to be
"theological terms [that] often misrepresented the process of change which most
ministries teach." Ambiguous, non sexual terms such as "new creation,"
"image of God," and "sanctified" were used to define what is meant by
"being changed." To be "ex-gay," said Doug Houck, founder of the
Christian Reformed-backed Metanoia Ministries, does not even mean "a complete
elimination of homosexual behavior: homosexual contact, masturbation, buying/reading
pornography, etc."
But how was this convention covered
in the evangelical press? According to a news feature in Christianity Today,
there were at the convention "living testimonies that practicing homosexuals can
become heterosexuals." Such backtracking from the editorial enlightenment shown three
years ago at Christianity Today clearly points up the continuing ambivalence of
evangelicals when faced with evidence they don't want to believe.
Conservative Presbyterian Richard
Lovelace has also displayed this ambivalence. Not long ago he repeatedly referred to EXIT
of Melodyland as the "ex-gay" organization that was "most successful in
bringing persons out of the homosexual lifestyle." Now that the cofounders of EXIT
have exited into "the homosexual lifestyle," however, he pushes Homosexuals
Anonymous, calling the approach used by its leader, Colin Cook, "an authentic
theological masterpiece...a jewel...a theological pearl...a silver bullet against
evil." Interestingly, Lovelace neglects to mention that Cook is a Seventh-Day
Adventist, a fact that many of his conservative Presbyterian readers might well dislike.
At any rate, the
"masterpiece" Cook is said to have produced is based on the idea that God
accounts the "ex-gay" to be "heterosexual" even though "God
knows" that he or she still is not heterosexual. According to Cook, the
"ex-gay" must claim the belief that "God charges to your account all of
Christ's... heterosexual wholeness." It's a "charge," not a
"change." And so, of course, Cook must admit that the homosexual "feelings
remain." But without any evidence or explanation, Cook suddenly announces on the last
page: "In time, 80 to 90 percent of the strength of homosexual feelings will pass
away."
Where does he get these figures? And
when will the "homosexual feelings...pass away"? When the homosexuals themselves
pass away? Cook admits in a recent interview in the Philadelphia Inquirer that he
has no records by which he can speak of "success levels." Indeed, in Ministry,
a Seventh-Day Adventist publication, he says, "Many Christians, battling with a
homosexual problem, hope one day in the vague future finally to arrive at heterosexuality
by the gradual process of God's righteousness working within them as they have
faith." But, according to Cook, this "is a wistful hope" and
"Biblically false." The Cook approach "focuses itself on a wholeness, a
righteousness (and hence a heterosexuality) outside of itself and in the person of
Another, namely Jesus Christ. This wholeness and heterosexuality of Christ the homosexual
accepts as his own." Cook says that this, then, "ends the search for
heterosexuality within himself." he says that "ex-gays" must then praise
God "for our new unseen identity." Such a "transformation" is hardly
"a theological pearl...and a silver bullet." Rather it's junk jewelry and a
blank.
A is true today of the older
approach to "self-abuse," the "ex-gay' approach would be comical if it were
not so tragic. In several more decades, the views of the Cooks and Lovelaces will be but
amusing footnotes of a less enlightened generation. But those who, because of these
unenlightened moralists, will have forfeited a rewarding intimacy for the true self-abuse
of isolation, enforced celibacy, and even promiscuity will be beyond the ability to enjoy
God's earthy gift of sexual closeness. Whether male or female now, they will then be
where, like the angels, they "neither marry nor are given in marriage."
[END]
Postscript, dated Winter 1987:
NEW YORK: "Ex-gay" leader Colin Cook has been
ousted for having sex with male counselees over the past six years. Investigation by
Seventh-Day Adventist sociologist Ronald Lawson has uncovered evidence from 14 young men
who complained of sexual pressures from Cook during counseling sessions to become
"ex-gay." The allegations were brought to the attention of Elder Neal Wilson,
SDA President, in October. On November 19 the board of Cook's Quest Learning Center /
Homosexuals Anonymous voted to accept Cook's November 3 resignation and to close Quest.
However, it decided to continue HA,
founded by Cook, though in a new location and with services limited primarily to mail and
phone contact rather than face-to-face counseling. The Board urged "Instructing (HA)
groups in how to help a person work through a sexual 'fall' within the context of the
group." Cook says he is "coming to admit to a level of delusional thinking that
I have let myself be deceived by." In a letter to supporters from HA coordinator Dan
Roberts, it is explained that "The circumstances that brought Colin to the point of
stepping down arose out of the knowledge of a series of episodes of sexual misconduct over
the last six years. More specifically, it has been revealed that he has been sexually
intimate with several male counselees during counseling sessions -- mostly nude massages,
erotic hugging, and a few instances of mutual masturbation. Colin has admitted such
behavior did take place."
Roberts goes on to say that
"Sexual slips or falls should be looked at seriously for they affect us all, but we
do not have to let them destroy us.... we are finding that HA doesn't have any more sexual
difficulties than other similar groups" in the "ex-gay" movement.
In early 1985 both the president of
Cook's board and officials of Exodus International, the "ex-gay" network, were
aware of some of Cook's sexual behavior with counselees and at Exodus conventions. Robbi
Kenney and Alan Medinger of Exodus flew to Pennsylvania to talk with Cook about it. Joann
Hiley of the "ex-gay" L.I.F.E. group told Lawson "that the reason Exodus
leaders have not been more outspoken about ... leniency within HA is because they are
afraid the demise of HA could hurt them all, given Colin Cook's prominence in the
movement."
Hiley herself appeared on TV with
Cook after his behavior was known within the movement. According to Lawson, "Colin
told me that within other 'ex-gay' groups the same 'feelings' and sexual improprieties
between leaders and counselees also occur, but that 'Quest is just more open' about
it."
This is, of course, consistent with
reports from many former "ex-gay" leaders. Indeed, in a November 14 internal
memo the Exodus board admitted that "sexual fall" has taken place even on the
Exodus board and added: "We do not deny that leaders have fallen." The memo
confirmed that "Exodus believes that overall [the charges against Cook] represent an
accurate picture.... It is a serious blow to all of us." The memo asks: "How
could this happen?" and concludes that it was a case of "lack of
accountability" within the movement. It goes on to claim, nonetheless, that "the
Lord has brought us out of homosexuality... [even though] The road may be long and hard,
and some of us may stumble."
In 1985, Cook wrote Homosexuality:
An Open Door? published by the SDA. The SDA, Christianity Today,
and Richard Lovelace of Gordon-Conwell Seminary have been among Cook's most ardent
promoters. The SDA financed Cook. Christianity Today ran ads for his seminars for
"people who want freedom from homosexuality...recovery... [and] healing" even
though Cook repeatedly asserted that moving from homosexual desires to heterosexual
desires is a "wistful hope."
Cook insisted that
"ex-gays" simply claim the heterosexuality of Christ for themselves while
continuing to fight off homosexual temptations. Lovelace pushed Cook's approach as
"the most developed and reliable source of help for homosexuals that I have
discovered" and called Cook's book "an authentic theological masterpiece...a
jewel...a theological pearl...and a silver bullet against evil."
Blair called it "junk jewelry
and a blank." Conservative anti-gay Christians are not the only ones to give
publicity to Cook and his "ex-gay" claims. Even after producers of The Phil
Donahue Show were repeatedly alerted to the facts regarding Cook's sex with
counselees, the show featuring him (with Hiley and Frank Worthen) was rebroadcast on
December 19 and Cook's phone number flashed across the nation's television screens. Said
one of Donahue's producers, with an eye to the entertainment value in programming
decisions: "It's a good show."
Dr. Ralph Blair, founder of
Evangelicals Concerned, continues to monitor the "ex-gay" movement. His
periodicals, Record and Review, provide current information and developments about gay
people, "ex-gays," supporters and antagonists within evangelicalism.