| Hello! My name is Mike and I'm glad you've visited my site. I sincerely hope that, in one way or another, you will gain something positive from my web site. It seems like a lot of guys come to the sites of other guys in hopes of seeing pictures of them. Well, there is a picture of me here. It's not a great one, but it's a picture! I hope you'll look at the rest of this site too, and check out a few of things I've put here. Some of them are pretty interesting and informative. Please look below to find out a little information about me. |
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| Music: My favorite musician is Jimi Hendrix. I know that some people reading this will probably be somewhat shocked. First: I'm
gay! Second: I'm Christian!
All I can say is :oP to those who would say that <G> I'm sorry if you happen to feel that way. I think Jimi Hendrix was a great guitarist and often showed his spiritual nature through his music and (albeit a bit sloppy at times) mastery of the electric guitar. Most people tend to see Hendrix as a shaggy-haired banshee sacrificing his guitar, by flame, to the awed audience at the Monterey Pop Festival of 1968. This was his first appearance in America after forming his band The Experience in England earlier that year. Yes, he "sacrificed" a Strat at Monterey, in what some might call, a staged theatrical event--in a set filled with staged theatrical events--but throughout the next three years, Jimi Hendrix unleashed some of the most original music that has ever come out of America. His range covered almost every contemporary style. He could be soulful and aggressive, beautiful and whimsical, intense and subtle. The best American rock music that has been ever been delivered came from the strong, emotion-filled fingers of Jimi Hendrix. Everything before, and since his death, has paled in comparison. Regardless of his personal beliefs and behaviors, I find him spiritually inspiring and musically awesome. As you might guess, my musical tastes lean toward classic rock as a preference. I also like:
I also like some newer rock music. Such as:
I tend to like things with a harder edge, as you might guess. |
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| About Me: I was born on a cold winters eve in a cabin my grandfather built... OK...I wasn't really! I was born April 17, of the year 1965. I'm an Aries. I'm gay. I'm Christian. I'm single. I'm bored talking about myself. But, I'll continue trying to impress upon you how terrific I am. <G>
Work: I output commercial work and I am the assistant to a computer systems manager at a newspaper. I'm lucky enough to work with some great people too! Unfortunately, one of them still thinks that I'm seeing a girl named Toni who lives in Kokomo, Indiana. She's always asking when Toni and I are going to get married. <G> She also joking refers to my ex as Ms. Kokomo. Tony is my exBOYfriend <G> As you might have guessed, I'm not out to work. Well, I'm out to my boss and one of the writers on our staff. :o)
Religion: I guess you could say that I'm more of a spiritualist than I am a "Christian." I don't consider the term "spiritualist" as only describing the lady down the street, with the New Jersey accent, who claims to be a descendant of a Great Hungarian Gypsy princess, Madame Zelga. I consider a spiritualist to be someone who relies on spirituality to guide them through life rather than a predefined, manmade and mandated, church enforced religiosity. I do believe that Jesus Christ is my savior, but I believe that we probably can't reach Christ unless our spirit is open to him. I'm also not exactly sure what definition one should apply to the name of Jesus. Who is Jesus? Who was Jesus? What is Jesus? What was Jesus? I consider Jesus to be a messenger. I also consider Him to be a message.
Hobbies: I don't have many hobbies really. Most involve computers in one way or another. I'm a geek! What can I say? I like working with graphics programs and web page design. I try not to be too gaudy, but as you can see, I sort of went a bit overboard on my web page, I think <G> I also like to write, but I do it very infrequently and nothing of any length or real importance. It's just fun to do occasionally. I also like science-fiction. Yes, I like Star Trek <G> I'm not a Trekie though.
Passions: This is a subject that's been bother me a little the last few years. I really don't seem to have passion for anything any more! It's really kind of a scary thing. About the only thing I find myself being passionate about is my negative opinion of some of the things I've seen in the gay community. I've known I was gay since I was around four years old. No, I wasn't sexual at four years of age, but you know what? I still knew I was gay. As I got older I found that sexuality was also a part of this "difference" that I felt about myself. As I got a little older I began to worry about my place in the scheme of things....in The Gay World <insert ominous music here> Well, all I saw about The Gay World was negative. Of course everyone hates gay people. They are the people that the school bullies, and his/her comrades, use to sharpen their aim with words and fists and flying objects. Gay people are really nothing more than caricatures that Real People use to fill in the punchlines of The Really Good Jokes. Or, maybe, you might let them do your hair or maybe even the decorating on Buffy and Chip's new condo. All they do is think about sex. They have sex anywhere, with anyone, and at any time they can get it. Back alleys, holes in the walls at public bathrooms, sex book shops, rest stops and Public Parks across the country. Nothing is too seedy, disgraceful or disgusting. In fact, the more degrading it is the better. Well, that's how being gay was portrayed to me through the Media, Family, Friends, Acquaintances. The Guy at the bus stop. The Lady in line at the grocery. The anonymous Graffiti Artist who scrawled YOU'RE A FAGGOT in big, bold, runny letters on the old buildings in some city here or there or the person who etched it in the filth on the back of a dirty cargo van. Emotionless little things they are. Little quips. After all, surely fags and lesbos have no feelings anyway. And even if they do, who gives a shit really? It makes me feel better about myself to slam them. Someone. Anyone...and they're the easiest target anyway. No one gives a shit about fags and lesbos. Right? It scared me and made me feel extremely sad and alone in the world. Surely no one out there felt like I did. That there really wasn't anything wrong with being gay. That one day I would find a great guy. We would settle down in a nice house with a white picket fence and we would spend the rest of our lives getting to know one another and experiencing the wonders of life. Well, it turns out that there is a little bit of truth to some of the negative things I listed above. I started coming to AOL chat rooms in 1995. I started with a generic lesbian & gay chat room. It was a little weird. People were yelling and fighting and cussing and gay bashing. I talked, via private message, to a guy who I noticed later was having cybersex in the chat with a guy named "pigboy." Interesting, I thought... Soon I found a chat room called Gay Christians. Eventually I began making friends there. We were pretty much victims in this chat room. Not only were we gay, but we were claiming that Jesus was our savior. These reasonable facsimiles are forever embedded in my brain:
:o) Such pleasant sentiments from an obviously morally superior group of People... Of course a lot of them were kids, and hopefully they will grow out of this sort of behavior. Many of them weren't children though. And, those children learned this sort of behavior somewhere. Eh, anyway.....I spent a good time fighting the good fight there and doing my best to minister (no, I'm not ordained. I'm just a regular guy and I rarely attend church) to those in pain and to those who felt hopeless. Then I got a little tired of the monotony. I probably sound like a jerk here. I don't think I am. It was almost always a painful experience and I spent about four years doing it. Almost every night. There is an endless stream of people who feel this pain, just as there is an endless stream of people who cause this pain. It got to be too painful for me to deal with it all the time, so now I wait until I "feel called" to do so. Occasionally I would venture to men 4 men chat rooms. What a strange site. The majority of the men there seemed intent on portraying themselves as the stereotypical gay male slut. They would preach how none of them are worth trying to have a relationship with, so it didn't matter anyway. Fuck up a storm and enjoy life. Men suck, basically...with a cute "Yes we sure do," thrown in for good measure. Of course, I'm not sure if they all include themselves in this group of men, but somehow I think they probably do. It's easier that way, I guess. Go with the flow. Teach yourself that there is no hope. Find others to reinforce these ideals and just worry about your next lay. Somehow, even though a lot of these guys say this, I disbelieve it. I really think that we all want to love and be loved, but we're so weak that we can't deal with the consequences. So, rather than retreating into loneliness, I guess many of us retreat into promiscuity. Well, after all the public sex stories, S&M, bondage, degradation, constant "are you horny?" and "are you looking to hook up? three way here" comments, I'm beginning to wonder if that's really the majority of what's out there... I mean, come on...surely this isn't true? I suppose it's not. I hope it's not.
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